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Saturday, 15 August 2015

(How to know if you’re an Empath) @ Can an empath be cruel

(How to know if you’re an Empath)
Can an empath be cruel, my notes added

Hi dear friends and followers. Today I would like to share with you a little more about to know if you are an empath and can an empath be cruel. Thanks you for visiting and reading my blog 
By: Christel Broederlow
What is an empath?

Being an empath is when you are affected by other people’s energies, and have an innate ability to intuitively feel and perceive others. Your life is unconsciously influenced by others’ desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. Being an empath is much more than being highly sensitive and it’s not just limited to emotions. Empaths can perceive physical sensitivities and spiritual urges, as well as just knowing the motivations and intentions of other people. You either are an empath or you aren’t. It’s not a trait that is learned. You are always open, so to speak, to process other people’s feelings and energy, which means that you really feel, and in many cases take on the emotions of others. Many empaths experience things like chronic fatigue, environmental sensitivities, or unexplained aches and pains daily. These are all things that are more likely to be contributed to outside influences and not so much yourself at all. Essentially you are walking around in this world with all of the accumulated karma, emotions, and energy from others.

Empaths are often quiet achievers. They can take a while to handle a compliment for they’re more inclined to point out another’s positive attributes. They are highly expressive in all areas of emotional connection, and talk openly, and, at times quite frankly. They may have few problems talking about their feelings if another cares to listen (regardless of how much they listen to others).

However, they can be the exact opposite: reclusive and apparently unresponsive at the best of times. They may even appear ignorant. Some are very good at “blocking out” others and that’s not always a bad thing, at least for the learning empath struggling with a barrage of emotions from others, as well as their own feelings.

Empaths have a tendency to openly feel what is outside of them more so than what is inside of them. This can cause empaths to ignore their own needs. In general an empath is non-violent, non-aggressive and leans more towards being the peacemaker. Any area filled with disharmony creates an uncomfortable feeling in an empath. If they find themselves in the middle of a confrontation, they will endeavor to settle the situation as quickly as possible, if not avoid it all together. If any harsh words are expressed in defending themselves, they will likely resent their lack of self-control, and have a preference to peacefully resolve the problem quickly.

Empaths are more inclined to pick up another’s feelings and project it back without realizing its origin in the first place. Talking things out is a major factor in releasing emotions in the learning empath. Empaths can develop an even stronger degree of understanding so that they can find peace in most situations. The downside is that empaths may bottle up emotions and build barriers sky-high so as to not let others know of their innermost thoughts and/or feelings. This withholding of emotional expression can be a direct result of a traumatic experience, an expressionless upbringing, or simply being told as a child, “Children are meant to be seen and not heard!”
Without a doubt, this emotional withholding can be detrimental to one’s health, for the longer one’s thoughts and/or emotions aren’t released, the more power they build. The thoughts and/or emotions can eventually becoming explosive, if not crippling. The need to express oneself honestly is a form of healing and a choice open to all. To not do so 

Note: I very much agree with the following statement as I have already been there can result in a breakdown of the person and result in mental/emotional instability or the creation of a physical ailment, illness or disease.
It is OK to be angry, It is never OK to be cruel 
And there is a big diference
Note: Also the question is often asked. CAN EMPATHS BE CRUEL. Speaking for myself after living for several years under the same room with another individual who I have no doubt was very much an narcissistic. 

After living with ah individual with such disorders, those disorders do rub off on you, maybe it's a self defence mechanism but it does spill over with other people in society, coworkers friends, family etc. You loose your identity after a time you can not tell the difference which is yours and which is someone else's the personalities merge as one. 

The only thing that doesn't change is your sense of value, I could not deliberately hurt another and if I did I was quick to apologise, But you can see the Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde effect that can create. Before I had ever heard of empaths and empathy, It took a twelve step program to help me find my way back on track in finding my own inner self and who that person truly was.

Empaths are sensitive to TV, videos, movies, news and broadcasts. Violence or emotional dramas depicting shocking scenes of physical or emotional pain inflicted on adults, children or animals can bring an empath easily to tears. At times, they may feel physically ill or choke back the tears. Some empaths will struggle to comprehend any such cruelty, and may have grave difficulty in expressing themselves in the face of another’s ignorance, closed-mindedness and obvious lack of compassion. They simply cannot justify the suffering they feel and see.

You will find empaths working with people, animals or nature with a true passion and dedication to help them. They are often tireless teachers and/or caretakers for our environment and all within it. Many volunteers are empathic and give up personal time to help others without pay and/or recognition.

Note: I love this next evaluation on empath qualities because this would definitely reflects my own qualities. Just check out this blog and see for yourself.

Empaths may be excellent storytellers due to an endless imagination, inquisitive minds and ever-expanding knowledge. They can be old romantics at heart and very gentle. They may also be the “keepers” of ancestral knowledge and family history. If not the obvious family historians, they may be the ones who listen to the stories passed down and possess the majority of the family history. Not surprisingly, they may have started or possess a family tree.

They have a broad interest in music to suit their many expressive temperaments, and others can query how empaths can listen to one style of music, and within minutes, change to something entirely different. 
 Lyrics within a song can have adverse, powerful effects on empaths,  especially if it is relevant to a recent experience. In these moments, it is advisable for empaths to listen to music without lyrics, to avoid playing havoc with their emotions! 

Note: Most of the time I don't listen to the words unless it is exceptionally good lyrics of positive emotional results.

They are just as expressive with body language as with words, thoughts, and feelings. Their creativity is often expressed through dance, acting, and bodily movements. Empaths can project an incredible amount of energy portraying and/or releasing emotion. Empaths can become lost in the music, to the point of being in a trance-like state; they become one with the music through the expression of their physical bodies. They describe this feeling as a time when all else around them is almost non-existent.

People of all walks of life and animals are attracted to the warmth and genuine compassion of empaths. Regardless of whether others are aware of one being empathic, people are drawn to them as a metal object is to a magnet!

Note: This is so true, chipmunks, mice, raccoons, skunks, porcupines, birds rabbits etc as well as domestic animals.

Even complete strangers find it easy to talk to empaths about the most personal things, and before they know it, they have poured out their hearts and souls without intending to do so consciously. It is as though on a sub-conscious level that person knows instinctively that empaths would listen with compassionate understanding. Then again, for empaths, it is always nice to actually be heard themselves!

Here are the listeners of life. They can be outgoing, bubbly, enthusiastic and a joy to be in the presence of, as well as highly humorous at the most unusual moments! On the flip side, empaths can be weighted with mood swings that will have others around them want to jump overboard and abandon ship! The thoughts and feelings empaths receive from any and all in their life can be so overwhelming (if not understood) that their moods can fluctuate with lightning speed. One moment they may be delightfully happy and with a flick of the switch, miserable.

Note: Mind you even though we are empaths and express our empathy freely where ever we can, we are still humans and we do have mood swings caused either by inner sources and exterior sources. Usually the result is being more silent than usual when I am upset or worrying about something. Just not as bubbly, but certainly no aggressive behaviors associated with the down times like I use to have
Abandoning an empath in the throes of alternating moods can create detrimental effects. A simple return of empathic love–listening and caring compassionately without bias, judgment and/or condemnation–can go an incredibly long way to an empath’s instant recovery. Many empaths don’t understand what is occurring within them. They literally have no idea that another person’s emotions are now felt, as one’s own and reflected outwardly. They are confused as to how one moment all was well, and then the next, they feel so depressed, alone, etc. The need to understand the possibilities of empath connection is a vital part of the empaths journey for themselves and for those around them.

Note: as much as an empath dislikes negativities we come to learn that they are part of life even though we may not like them and all we have at our disposal is to pray for any individual involved in the negative situation. But it goes over so much better if the empath is clued in as to what ever the negative that is going on in that person's life.

Empaths are often problem solvers, thinkers, and studiers of many things. As far as empaths are concerned, where a problem is, so too is the answer. They often will search until they find one – if only for peace of mind. This can certainly prove beneficial for others in their relationships, in the workplace, or on the home front. Where there is a will, there is a way and the empath will find it. The empath can literally (likely without the knowledge of what’s actually occurring) tap into Universal Knowledge and be receptive to guidance in solving anything they put their head and hearts into.

Empaths often are vivid and/or lucid dreamers. They can dream in detail and are inquisitive of dream content. Often they feel as though the dreams are linked to their physical life somehow, and not just a mumble of nonsensical, irrelevant, meaningless images. This curiosity will lead many empathic dreamers to unravel some of the “mysterious” dream contents from an early age and connect the interpretation to its relevance in their physical life. If not, they may be led to dream interpretations through other means.

Empaths are daydreamers with difficulty keeping focused on the mundane. If life isn’t stimulating, off an empath will go into a detached state of mind. They will go somewhere, anywhere, in a thought that appears detached from the physical reality, yet is alive and active for they really are off and away. If a tutor is lecturing with little to no emotional input, empaths will not be receptive to such teaching and can (unintentionally) drift into a state of daydreaming.

Give the empath student the tutor who speaks with stimuli and emotion (through actual experience of any given subject) and the empath is receptively alert. Empaths are a captivated audience. This same principle applies in acting. An actor will either captivate the audience through expressing (in all aspects) emotions (as though they really did experience the role they are portraying) or will loose them entirely. Empaths make outstanding actors.

Empaths frequently experience déjà vu and synchronicities. What may initially start as, “Oh, what a coincidence”, will lead to the understanding of synchronicities as an aspect of who they are. These synchronicities will become a welcomed and continually expanding occurrence. As an understanding of self grows, the synchronicities become more fluent and free flowing. The synchronicities can promote a feeling of euphoria as empaths identify with them and appreciate the connection to their empathic nature.

Empaths are most likely to have had varying paranormal experiences throughout their lives. NDE’s (Near death experiences) and or OBE’s (Out of body experiences) can catapult an unaware empath into the awakening period and provide the momentum for a journey of discovery. Those who get caught up in life, in society’s often dictating ways, in work etc., can become lost in a mechanical way of living that provides very little meaning. All “signs of guidance” are ignored to shift out of this state of “doing”. A path to being whole again becomes evident and a search for more meaning in one’s life begins.

Note: I have had many knowings sensings and seeing but the only closest experience I had with NDE or OBE was the little ones, orbs sparklies the faie light and the light beings
These types of experiences appear dramatic, can be life-altering indeed, and are most assuredly just as intensely memorable in years to come. They are the voice of guidance encouraging us to pursue our journey in awareness. Sometimes, some of us require that extra assistance!

For some empaths, the lack of outside understanding towards paranormal events they experience, may lead to suppressing such abilities. (Most of these abilities are very natural and not a coincidence.) Empaths may unknowingly adopt the positive or negative attitude of others as their own. (This, however, can be overcome.) Empaths may need to follow interests in the paranormal and the unexplained with curiosity so as to explain and accept their life circumstances.

Thank you very much again, dear friends, for visiting my blog. Please share your thoughts with us, if you will. Have a great day. 

ڰۣIn Loving Light from the Fairy Ladyڰۣ

Friday, 14 August 2015

Why Is my Empathic Boss So Wishy-Washy?

Why Is my Empathic Boss So Wishy-Washy?
May 20, 2014 · by Lorna Tedder
· in Empathy

Hi dear friends and followers, today we examing empathy in the work place. Thank you very much for visiting my blog and reading this entry.

Question: My employer made us take personality tests last week. The test claimed I have an empathic boss (his test). Is this why he is so wishy-washy?

Note: Oh yes, I most certainly had this experience more than once in the workplace, where the other person's proposal turned out to being inferior to my own. Took me a few knocks before learning to think, well Mr boss, suffer the consequences then just move on. Not much else I could do. "Saying I told you so certainly wouldn't gain me anything but grief."

Very possible. Almost everyone in the corporate world has heard about that boss who makes decisions based on the last person in his office, even though he’s given approval or tentative approval to several different opinions throughout the day. An empathic boss can easily hear the argument for a certain path forward and earnestly agree with what has been presented. An hour later, a different opinion is presented–sometimes an opposite opinion–and the boss agrees earnestly with it as well, no matter how different from the opinion presented earlier.

What’s happening is that the boss is identifying strongly–too strongly–with each person who romps into his office with a strong opinion and strong emotions about an issue. The emotions of the presenter become the emotions of the boss, and the decisions seem absolutely right if he makes them in the moment where he is still identifying with the presenter.

For myself, as an empathic boss, I know that there are certain areas where I have trouble maintaining boundaries (not telling what!) but I’ve come up with ways to take my emotions and the emotions of those around me out of the mix in making my decision. Occasionally, I’ll find myself strongly swayed on a path forward, and if I can simply break away to walk 10 minutes over to the Post Office and back, the swirl of someone else’s emotions have abated and I can make a decision with a clear head and no empathic influence. Other times, I need more time to be “out of the energy” of the person presenting a particular idea to me for approval. 

I’ll plan a long walk after work, sleep on it, and then have a clear decision in the morning, again unmuddled by the emotions of the person so wanting me to approve the idea. It’s not that I don’t have strong opinions of my own–the problem areas for me are when I don’t have a strong opinion or don’t particularly care which path forward I take…but others do.

Note: This is very good advice. To my experience, snap decisions never ended up working out very well in my favor. At any rate, not without hurting someone else in the process

Empath in the work place

Invisible Armor: Protecting Your Empathy at Work 

Sitting in my cube one day at work with a deadline looming overhead, I was desperately trying to concentrate and couldn’t sit still. I cleared my desk, adjusted my chair, cranked as much soothing music as I could find, but nothing was working. Did I drink too much coffee? Wait, I haven’t had caffeine in over five years…

Out of total desperation I got up, walked around the office, and parked myself in the first empty conference room I could find. As soon as I sat down and opened my laptop my head was clear. I got my wireframes done in record time. This stark contrast – between the jackhammer at my desk and the 2001-Space-Odyssey-like womb in the conference room – truly amazed me.

Wait a minute, I thought. My cube-mate is going through some pretty intense personal issues right now…could that be affecting me? I quickly googled “picking up other people’s vibes” and was introduced to the fascinating world of empathy.


Empathy is defined as “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experiences of another.” It’s clearly a quality that – beyond being inherently human – is necessary for user-centered design. Designers must learn to naturally pick up on the unsaid. This, in turn, allows them to successfully read others’ needs and wants and have them reflected in their design.

However, there’s a dark side to empathy that is rarely discussed. UX Booth’s own Andrew Maier explains in his article about reducing noise, that “although office environments are designed to encourage creativity, their inhabitants can occasionally hinder it”.
“Sometimes we can become overwhelmed by empathy at work,” adds Judith Orloff, MD, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at UCLA and author of “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself from Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life.” She stresses that “in the workplace, empathy has both an upside and a downside. People who are extremely empathic and sensitive need to be aware of both.”

The key, she says, is to pinpoint if you are a super sensitive person (or empath, as she terms them) and “be aware of the ways this wonderful trait serves you in the workplace. But be extra careful to protect your emotional and physical health, because empathetic people are, by definition, more vulnerable and open than their peers.”

All this talk of empathy may have you wondering if you’re an empath yourself. I know I did. If so, you’re in luck! Here’s the self-assessment test from Dr. Orloff’s book:
Have I been labelled by coworkers as “too emotional ” or overly sensitive?
If a coworker is distraught, does it affect my mood at work?
Are my feelings easily hurt when a supervisor or peer delivers negative feedback?
Am I emotionally drained when I have to work closely with others, and do I require time alone to revive?
Do my nerves get frayed by office noise, machine noise, smells, or excessive talking?
Do I prefer working quietly and off by myself?
Do I overeat or need a hour hour cocktail to deal with work-related stress?

Note: Noise pollution of any kind definitely will irritate a sensitive or empathic person, whether it be psychic or oddible noise pollution including some sounds on a level that most don't even notice and there are many of those type of sounds.


Ok, so: thanks to an unpleasant alcohol intolerance, happy hour cocktails are out of the question. Other than that, though, I checked every single box in Dr. Orloff’s self-assesment. I guess I am an empath! This revelatory experience made me realize that I sorely needed to find a way to carry peace and quiet with me everywhere I went.

Nowadays many companies are working hard at harnessing empathy during turbulent times, as Dev Patnaik, author of “Wired to Care: How Companies Prosper When They Create Widespread Empathy” explains. Humans have an intrinsic and sophisticated way of stepping into someone else’s shoes, but he maintains “the problem with business today isn’t a lack of innovation; it’s a lack of empathy.”

Related talks of an “empathy deficit” in our country point to our overly connected and financially stressful lives as the culprit. Patnaik says that “for many of the world’s greatest companies, it’s an ever-present but rarely talked-about engine for growth.”


In my search for the right technique to achieve “mobile peace,” I came across a set of meditation classes from a Bay Area school called Psychic Horizons. They seemed simple enough. Their Foundation Classes are organized around five basic premises, the first one being “You can separate yourself from all the influences around you.”

This was music to my ears. There, I learned about grounding, centering, and setting energetic boundaries. For boundaries, the instructor recommended we visualize a rose (or any everyday object outside of our space) and imagine that that rose serves as an energy-catcher. This allows you to process the good “stuff” you pick up from others, but not the bad “stuff.”

Dr. Orloff calls this “shielding yourself,” and offers up a similar technique in her article “How to Stop Absorbing the Energy of Others.” She suggests you imagine an envelope of white light (or any color you feel imparts power) around your entire body: “think of it as a shield that blocks out negativity or physical discomfort but allows what’s positive to filter in.” She also recommends to walk away, practice vulnerability and meditate.

The day after the boundaries class I eagerly put what I learned into practice, imagining roses all around me. Upon walking into the office I did a quick inner checkup to see what I felt, and lo and behold, I felt calm, quiet and peaceful. I did not feel the typical stress that accompanied me only while I was physically in the office. And that helped me tremendously to get my work done, even amidst the angst around me due to corporate layoffs.


Invisible armor isn’t all roses, so to speak. There are many shielding techniques out there, some as simple as crossing your arms or standing slightly sideways in front of someone who is particularly upsetting to you. Another involves going outside and touching the ground with your bare feet.

NOTE: One way I have developed how to ground and is not time consuming. Find a quiet place for a couple of minutes, just a couple of minutes, this can be done while visiting the ladies room of gentlemans room. Sit down and close your eyes, relax as best you can then imagine a brook. You can hear the water gurgling over the stones, it is fall and the leaves are falling in the book floating downstream. Each leaf is white noise or psychic noise or voices and thoughts of other people, let them float down the stream with the leaves. 

Yvonne Perry, a metaphysical teacher, poses that just like an electrical appliance needs grounding to operate, our bodies need to connect to the earth from time to time in order to function properly. “When you are grounded, you feel deeply connected to yourself and at peace with everything around you”, she states in her book “Whose Stuff Is This? Finding Freedom from the Thoughts, Feelings, and Energy of Those Around You.” Perry also offers up an interesting psychological perspective on why some people become empaths in the first place: “many empaths grew up with parents who were emotionally volatile.” Therefore, they learned to pick up on subtle shifts in energy to avoid conflict, she says.

The fact is that everyone has empathic abilities – whether they admit it or not – and that given the right environment those abilities can become your most trusted ally. As Dr. Orloff says “if you can find the right balance it will only bode well for your company and career.” Harnessing empathy has definitely become an ally for me, enabling a level of focus that I wasn’t able to reach before. Now, lets all go running barefoot in the park.

Note: This is true, everyone has empathy to different levels but many are just not aware that they do. If there is any such being who claim they do not have or deny having empathinc abilities that would only be possible if they do not have any feelings at all. So totally brainwashed and out of touch with reality to not feel anything is not a place I would relish much to visit.  
Thank you very much again, dear friends, for visiting my blog. Please share your thoughts with us, if you will. Have a great day. 

ڰۣIn Loving Light from the Fairy Ladyڰۣ

Thursday, 13 August 2015

Empathic Abilities and Connections: “The Feeling”

Empathic Abilities and Connections: “The Feeling”
by Lorna Tedder · in Empathy, Energy, Psychic

Hi dear friends and followers. Today I would like to take on a short but more in depth look at the Empathic Abilities and connections. Thank you very much for visiting and reading my blog

The unseen world around us is like this web except made of energy.

Empathy, empathic abilities, and what I call “energetic connections” (or emotional connections) between people are all about feeling what someone else is feeling. Some of us empaths, or “highly sensitive people,” have these abilities more than others, to the extent where it seems like a curse. If you’ve formed an emotional, empathy-type connection to someone who is terminally sick, mentally ill, or overstressed, the emotions can be debilitating. On the other hand, merging with a lover takes biological to chemical to alchemical thrills.

Examples of such connections:

– A mother’s intuition where she feels her baby’s pinched finger as if it were her own flesh.

– Suddenly feeling something is horribly wrong and getting a call 10 minutes later that a loved one has died.

– A High Priestess who forms a strong bond with the Initiates of her coven and can sense when one of them is in trouble—or doing quite well.

Note: I have had many experiences, more with knowings than I have with actual seeings through the years. I have had feelings of things that were to come, but never were specific enough for me to say exactly where, when, or who it was, only that something was going to take place. 

Even the few times I did know who, it would not have done any good to approach them about it. In some cases where I did approach them, my warnings went unheeded.  

Within a short time after having these knowings, I knew then what what they were; they unmistakably matched the feeling I had.  I also had many very accurate and detailed premonitions about events that were to take place years before they did.

As for the seeings, they are very similar to the knowings but more like deja vue. A vision of having been there before or will be and you know that you were there or and will be there. The visions are stranger than the knowings
We Have a Quantum Entanglement, Says SURVIVOR’s Tarzan of Wife

“We have a quantum entanglement.”

— Tarzan from SURVIVOR

On the 11th Episode of Survivor One World, 2 May 2012, they brought in the contestants’ family/friends after they’d been away for a month. We got a chance to see some emotional reunions, even among the most hardass of the players. Something Tarzan, the last man standing, had to say caught my attention. He told Jeff Probst that he felt his wife’s presence on the island.

Whoa. I understood what he meant. This is what I mean when I talk about energetic connections and the empathic bonds I have with loved ones across the miles. Then again, maybe it was just a fluke that he said that. At least, that’s what I told myself until he said of his wife,

“We have a quantum entanglement.”

Yes. He understands empathic bonds, energetic connections, and quantum entanglement.

I’m glad that more press is being given to empaths. Check out this page and the video where these connections are described as an invisible umbilical cord across distance. Yes, that is exactly how it feels to an empath.


Note: You can feel someone you care for, for miles, even overseas. You are as connected to them as if they were in the same room with you. You can know when something is going wrong in their lives, just as assuredly as if they called you on the telephone.

It does also work the other way, knowing that they are well, but we do not get concerned about them until something happens that arouses warning signals within us
Thank you very much again, dear friends, for visiting my blog. Please share your thoughts with us, if you will. Have a great day. 
 ڰۣIn Loving Light from the Fairy Ladyڰۣ

Wednesday, 12 August 2015

Energy Exchange: The Imperative Need in Any Relationship

Energy Exchange: The Imperative Need in Any Relationship
by Lorna Tedder · in Energy, Relationships

Hi, dear friends and followers, welcome and thank you again for visiting and reading my blog. I have little to add to today's entry as is speaks for itself and reflects perfectly my own feelings about an equal energy exchange in any partnership, both business and personal. "Sharing the light" is how I describe it. Comments in Orange are my own.
Energy exchange. Not a common phrase but fitting. What I need in any relationship is simple: reciprocity. By “relationships,” I mean any relationship–business or personal, romantic or platonic, social or family, employer or employee, inner circle or outer circle. I’ve also called it “emotional support” when I gave lots of nurturing but got little to none in return from my romantic partner…a sad pattern in my life as I’m a natural nurturer. I've also referred to it as a balance between myself as an author and my readers who follow me faithfully and support me by buying my books or spreading the word about my website. As I realized while sitting cross-legged on someone’s sofa with smoky curls of incense wafting over his shoulder in the sunlight, the truest term really is “energy exchange.”

Recently, one of my out-of-town friends has become very special–very quickly–to me and has accelerated my spiritual growth enough in a month or so to make up for putting it on hold for most of the last five years. I didn't realize how much of that part of my life I’d tamped down to be more acceptable to both colleagues and romantic partners in my geographic area because, you know, I scare people away if I’m too upfront with the weird stuff in my life. I don’t hide the “real me,” but I've been careful not to flaunt the “real me,” or suffer the consequences of withdrawal of social and professional relationships. 

He and I have been friends for several years and have shared an empathic link for at least a year or so, but the focus has shifted for us from intense online conversations to face-to-face collaboration on things we need to do together–personal evolution, business development, and spiritual/esoteric expansion. Our friendship is close and deep, but more than a friendship. We are not lovers, and yet our intimacy is at soul level, with barriers down almost immediately. How often does that happen that you see someone at their core–and neither runs? I am learning so much from him! As with my best relationships throughout my life, here’s another one that I can't easily define. 

To try would do it a disservice. He is one of a handful of people I’ve known who have spent many lifetimes with me, and whatever we all were to each other else when–brothers in arms, lovers, parent and child, playmates–we carry with us now all those experiences wrapped up in one. We all recognize each other upon first meeting. Not from pictures or past conversations, but from the intense energy exchange between us when we belong to the same “tribe.”
The way I experience this comes to me visually as two humanoid silhouettes of dark and of stars, standing in close proximity and stars shooting out of their forms at each other. Some stars are fast and exploding like fireworks, and others linger in the space between us, floating, joining, taking their time but no less intense. How it feels is…uncommon. In fact, I’d not felt anything remotely as strong with another individual since my friendship with a female energy worker in early 2005. It feels like the molecules in the air around and between you have come alive, working, writhing. 

There is a silent buzz in the room that I can feel in the same way I might be aware of a silent alarm in a jewelry store that is at a frequency too high for my ears to hear…and yet they do. Sometimes the buzz is in the room; other times between two people. The longer it is sustained, the more it feels that the dial has been turned up a notch, and another. And another. Occasionally, it’s accompanied by heat in the air, the kind one might feel during Reiki or a ritual or, I’ve been told, during a hot flash. But it’s a buzz that rises in me to my throat and feels like, under awful circumstance, it might be anxiety. It’s electric.

It’s addictive. I could spend hours in it and not want to leave. Afterward, it’s like I’ve just curled up in the afterglow with a lover. I could snuggle down in sheets and purr! Just breath-taking, relaxing, and at one with the Universe as well as the other person. Tranquility.

All this struck me when I was sitting on my friend’s sofa with him, the two of us excitedly discussing plans for a project. We were both cross-legged, facing each other, about two feet apart, unwittingly reflecting each other’s posture when I noticed the surge of heat in the air between us. The buzz of energy dialed up from 0 to 10 in a few seconds. It was so strong that I had to interrupt him to see if he’d noticed the amped up energy. I realized immediately that the way we were sitting, facing each other, was creating a physical circuit of energy. 

 I’ve experienced this before when working with the previously mentioned energy worker in 2005, when we used a Ouija board in our work and created a circuit by sitting cross-legged, knees touching, fingers touching. I’ve done this in ritual with an ex-boyfriend who was a neophyte but quite psychic. What I’ve found from this type of physical circuit created by touching or nearly touching and creating that vortex of energy between the two participants, is that it’s excellent for manifesting your joint goals. Let’s see if what we were talking about then comes to fruition quickly! It was like creating a fireball between us and letting our intentions be released with it.

Energy circuit. Energy exchange. Balance.

When I left, I had a lot to ponder about a lot of things. One of the things I realized that afternoon was how much I fear getting into the wrong relationship again and having yet another man try to control me. Or contain me. I can walk through life alone just fine and enjoy the solitude with an occasional friend, but I would like to have a partner who loves me enough to envelope me in his light and yet not do his damnedest to contain me or change me into something that accessorizes his life in a more socially pleasing way. For as much personal power as I may have amassed in this lifetime, I still have that fragility of not wanting to be hurt or rejected yet again for who I am on the inside. Or worse: squelched. I can’t lose myself again.

I stopped along the way home and emailed myself a note under the header Thought. I couldn't stop thinking about energy exchange and how rare that is, especially if it’s done consciously with a partner (of any variety). I’m at that point in my life where I don’t really expect to have the life partner I’ve always wanted. It just seems…impossible…at this stage of life when I look around my community. My “competition”–and I loathe the idea of competing for a man and will…not…do…it –for a life partner isn’t just women my age but women who are 40, 30, even 20, while I’m rarely finding any man of 45 or 50 to be appealing and I have nothing in common with retired men over 50, let alone the usual 70-year-olds who think I’m the bee’s knees. 

For men looking for a partner, there will always be someone younger, someone prettier, someone thinner, and too many of my potential partners are openly focused only on physical attraction. For the handful of men who aren't that shallow, they usually flee once they get a glimpse of my spiritual beliefs. They don't understand them, they don’t want to find out, and they want me to be something I'm not. My beliefs are too important to me to abandon so I can get laid nightly or have someone to share my dinner table every night, so long-term relationships don't seem to be in the cards for me. At least not unless I'm willing to accept table scraps. Say what I feel? Out the door. 

Note; There is always one and maybe the chance of finding the right one might be astronomical, there is one out there never the less. I did not find that person until I had quit looking and had settled on living a singles life for the rest of my life, this was when I met that special person, in a chatroom on the internet. Even though this person knew little about empathy and all the weirdness that goes with it, we are still together 13 years later.

Seeings; Fairies, light beings, orbs, sparklies, rainbow beings, just to name a few. 

Allow them to open a door to confess they saw a grandparent’s ghost as child (frequent) and see that as an opening to admit I’ve seen things that few people have, and I’m left with the door swinging on the hinges. The first time I mention any of my esoteric experiences, it’s the last time–with a few exceptions–that I see the guy. And in a way, that’s okay because I don’t want to share space and air with another man who doesn’t get me. I have no desire to have my beliefs in reincarnation or empathic connections ridiculed. I’ve lived it, I’ve journaled it, I’ve had it corroborated, I know.

When I arrived at home, I opened my email to find the notes I’d sent myself. I’m a gadget geek and my brain is too full to remember everything I have going on unless I catch flitting thoughts in my technological butterfly net. When I searched for the email entitled Thought, another email was second on the page, and my heart sank when it appeared. It was an old email I’d sent someone in a moment of trying to explain why I felt so depressed and lonely. I was pouring out my heart to him to lower his walls, let me see inside him as I’d let him see inside me. He craved my emotions but packed his own tightly away. I gave him all the attention he demanded but he compartmentalized me. 

Note: Hehehehe, thank you very much on the suggestion of sending myself notes. Maybe empathy works that way things from the normal stream of life gets drowned in the flood of the out of normal stream.

 None of that was the reason I broke up with him–not directly anyhow–but it was the reason our relationship was often disappointing to me. I guess it was good to find the note and be reminded that things weren’t as good as I’d like to remember. There was an exchange of energy but it was never enough. Only a trickle from him, often, and occasionally a firehose. But the exchange of energy between us was not consistent. Of course, the same is true for most any of my past relationships. An equitable exchange of energy was rare or short-lived, and we would quickly get out of balance, fight and re-balance, then get lopsided again.

I don’t find energy exchange difficult in most areas of my life. In business, I know the people who work for me bust their asses and I’d do anything for them. If a colleague is a taker, lies to me, never gives back, or hurts me in return, I’ll either cut off their flow of energy or I’ll give them one last blast they won’t enjoy. In friendships, if they’re never around when I’m the one who needs a shoulder to cry on, I back off to match their flow of energy, if the friendship remains at all. In sexual relationships, if the guy can’t match my passion in bed, then out the door he goes.
The one place that eludes me is the most complex, and that’s in any relationship that could turn into a life partner. Maybe it’s because of all the different ways energy can flow, so many different circuits. It’s not just love, not just friendship, not just sex, not just sharing space and air. It’s a relationship that’s fulfilling on most if not all levels, with no blockages of energy, and the ability to both expose and accept each other at their deepest, darkest core. I’m not sure if that’s something that will ever be possible for me, as I would have to have the other person to complete the circuit, to give back as much as I can give. But I think I understand how it works.
Energy that does not flow both ways leads to energy that is resented in the giving, for if all you do is give energy, there’s soon nothing left. The well must be replenished. In more complex relationships, energy must be exchanged and in balance to endure. The electrical circuit must flow. It’s the energy that is the life of the relationship.
Thank you very much again, dear friends, for visiting my blog. Please share your thoughts with us, if you will. Have a great day. 

ڰۣIn Loving Light from the Fairy Ladyڰۣ

Tuesday, 11 August 2015

Are Empaths Psychic Vampires?

Are Empaths Psychic Vampires?
by Lorna Tedder · in

Hi dear friends and followers. The introduction to today's entry is from my own experience. Thank you for following my blog.

A person that drains your energy today is labeled and classified to be an energy vampire.

They are also called psychic vampires or energy suckers. Be mindful and this energy sucking for an example can be liken to what is call having to deal with a drama queen of drama king. Everyone is familiar with these two, and you do not have to be an empath to know the end results of such a relationship.  After having been in the company of even just a negative person, it tends to drain you emotionally after a time.

There are many other types of energy vampires, from unconscious to conscious ones, as this article relates to further on.
The unconscious ones are not aware they are energy drainers (vampires). They are not necessarily bad, as they are usually emotionally unstable or ill. They are in need to draw life force from others who have a strong healthy energy field. 

There are also those that makes them feel strong or superior just by bringing someone else down in the process of their rising above, we are quite aware of this type as well.
Question: Are psychic vampires and empaths the same thing?

No. Emotions are at play for both, but in a very different way.

A psychic vampire is someone who feeds off the energy of others. It’s not in an overt way. They don’t stand over you like a monster in a bad movie and suck the life force out of you. Not exactly. If you’ve ever found yourself drained after being with someone–especially if you find yourself drained every single time you’re with them–then it’s very possible that the other person is a psychic vampire.

An empath is a person who feels the energy of others. Though I suppose it’s possible for an empath to feed off others’ energy as well, I’ve not encountered anyone who is both an empath and an energy vampire, or psychic vampire.

The psychic vampires I’ve known have tended to be emotionally needy and often initiators of drama, just to cause fluctuations in emotions that they can enjoy. These are often not positive or light emotions, and I’ve not known of any psychic vampires who “took on” these feelings themselves as empaths often do. The vampire may be an emotional manipulator or may be completely unaware of what they’re doing. A good example would be the family member who is always stirring up drama and then is right there to hear your problems while you pick up the pieces…all the while being reminded of you of things that upset you rather than allowing you to achieve a peaceful state of mind.
I’ve known both introvert and extrovert psychic vampires. Empaths are generally introverts or on the cusp.

Being an empath means feeling the emotions of people you have a bond with or are in proximity to you. As an empath, I have on a few occasions been bonded with someone who shared my sweeter emotions and I could feel both mine and theirs, so that we could mirror each other. This in no way drained the other person but gave me a double dose of the same emotion.

Note: this result is the same on the negative side of the emapths scale. If you hurt someone you feel their hurt equally as much as your own, which means a double dose of the pain experienced. This is one reason I will do everything I can to avoid a negative confrontation with another.

Empaths sometimes cannot distinguish between someone else’s emotions and their own, so they often get caught up in other people’s turbulent feelings. And that’s not fun!

So the big difference between psychic vampires and empaths is this:

Empaths feel the emotions of others. Psychic vampires feed off the emotions of others.

For an empath, just feeling the emotions of others can be overwhelming. Although it may be possible, I cannot understand how someone could be both. They’d have to be a glutton for punishment to both feel and feed off someone else’s emotions.
Thank you very much again, dear friends, for visiting my blog. Please share your thoughts with us, if you will. Have a great day.

ڰۣIn Loving Light from the Fairy Ladyڰۣ

Monday, 10 August 2015

Do Empaths Feel Spirits?

Do Empaths Feel Spirits?
by Lorna Tedder · in Empathy

Hi dear friends and followers. Today we review how the phenomena of the spirit world can affect an empathic person.

Thank you for visiting and reading my blog.
The orange comments are my own
Stopping to breathe in fog over a lake at dawn.

Question: I’m an empath and I feel humans all the time. Is it possible for empaths to feel spirits? You know, as in people who have passed over.


The dead may not be in physical form any longer, but they are still energy and leave behind an energetic residue or energetic signature. It’s energy you are sensitive to, not human bodies.

You may be sensitive not only to spirits, as you call them, but also to other unseen entities. I have, at different times, felt the energy of the dead as well as various entities: angels, guardians, and yes, God.

However, I experience energy through feeling and sometimes knowing, but not normally through visual or auditory processes. In other words, I don’tsee the dead — at least not most of the time. For my friends who do experience energy visually, it’s a whole new game and one I really don’t want any part of myself. One thing all of my “visual” friends have told me is that they are almost constantly bothered by the dead because the dead know that they can be seen and that they can communicate. So, they go to my visual friends for help.

One such friend has reported to me that it is difficult for her to hold a job or to sleep because she’s so constantly pressured to provide help.

Another tells me how disconcerting it is to have spirits show up at the most inconvenient time and show him a few happy moments of their lives, before showing their deaths.

Over the last few months, I had an option in my spiritual growth to add the visual gift to my repertoire and after about a week of it, I took a big step back and disconnected from it. It’s one thing to feel the things around me that are unseen and know very much that there is another presence close by–even whether it is happy, sad, angry, jealous, in pain, curious–but it’s another thing altogether to have the gift of knowing and the gift of sight so that you can see things around you so that you can not only feel these things around you, but also see them — as well as seeing flashes of the future.

Note: I have had the experience of both visual and sensing. Fortunately I have never had any negative visuals, only that of different sources of light energy, or light beings. The beings of light came to me only on occasions when I was going through desperate times in my life, I guess to help me through them. The energy light I still see occasionally, like in the form of tiny sparks or like tiny rainbows on the walls. 
But on the other hand I have felt some very negative energy, not just from people but inside different structures, especially one I had the opportunity to live in once about 11 years ago. It nearly drove my roomie and I apart, it was none stop negative, occurrences, like nothing we did would turn out right, and two near fatal car accidents. After we gave the place a thorough cleansing then peace returned. 

Some things are easier not to know unless we are well prepared for them and truly want those gifts.

Note: But then there also time we know and wished we didn't, but turns out that way no matter how much we try to change it.
You can feel something is wrong but not necessarily know why or what it is that's wrong.

Like for an example going to bed with a terrible ominous feeling in the pit of your stomach and have no idea why, the next day you wake up to find out some town just down the way was wiped out by a tornado

Or having this feeling about a best friend who has not left any prior indications of any problems, just moves on suddenly without word.

As for feeling spirits, I have felt them in supposedly haunted and supposedly not haunted houses, both by the sense of presence and a temperature drop. Most often it is simply feeling a presence or an external emotion, just as I do with living humans. The energy of a person will remain in a place after death, something I often feel at estate sales or in locations where the occupant spent an inordinate amount of time or a significant expenditure of strong negative emotion such as fear or anger. This energy signature will linger on the body after death, too, and spread over the surrounding area, like an aura moving out from a body. 

Note: In the case of an apartment, they to retain the energy of previous tenants. My suggesting is to smudge it with sweet grass, sage or and holly water, along with incantations and prayer. It works 
This, I believe, is why we empaths and intuitives often sense energy residue around graves and in cemeteries. Although the person’s life force is no longer there, the vessel that held the life force and its energy still teems with energetic residue, as does a favorite dress or suit the person was buried in. Not only does the grave hold the energy signature but those who visit often bring with them strong emotions that amplify the impression of energy. The spirit may or may not be present for their left-over energy to be felt.

The energy of an absent person can be felt with living humans as well. An example from years ago: a few days after a former boyfriend moved out, an empathic friend who’d never met him and didn’t know he existed walked into my house and immediately commented on his energy in certain rooms where he and I had spent a lot of time decorating together or just sitting and talking. She said that the happy emotion of us “building our castle together” was still there but that his personal energy was fading gradually. She referred to it as “missing man” energy. At the present, there’s no longer any sense of his energy in my home and all his gifts have been removed from the premises and all ties with him have been severed.

My point in all this is that energy is still energy and very uniquely belonging to a particular person, whether that person’s body is living or not. It the energetic pattern that continues. Some call that a soul. Some call it a spirit.
Thank you very much again, dear friends, for visiting my blog. Please share your thoughts with us, if you will. Have a great day. 

ڰۣIn Loving Light from the Fairy Ladyڰۣ

Sunday, 9 August 2015

Do Empaths Get Too Close Emotionally, Too Fast?

Do Empaths Get Too Close Emotionally, Too Fast?
Hi dear friends and followers, welcome to my blog and hope you enjoy reading today's entry.

I do not have much to add to this entry because it speaks for itself and reflects pretty well on my experience with my own feelings with other friendships and relationships in my life

There were no other empaths in my family other then my mother, she could sense things beforehand about events and people. There were not other empaths in the family I am aware of, but there were many good compassionate members among my family.

As far as friends go I never had many really close friends, or at least none that were close enough to understand me. When I did make a close friend I clung to them like one would to a precious jewel and it hurt me deeply when one of them moved on out of my life, just as deeply as it did when one of them, or a member of the family passed on. 

by Lorna Tedder · in Empathy

Question: My mom is an empath. I’m not. No one else in our family is. Her friends and boyfriends are usually good for her if they stick around but she gets too close emotionally to them really fast. Once or twice, she’s had a perfect guy dump her because she got too close emotionally, too fast, and she scared him off. I don’t understand why she does this.

Easy. Been there, many times. Many, many times. Every man and woman, every deep platonic and romantic relationship I’ve had, I as an empath knew long before they did that we would be of importance to one another.
Vicki and I were best friends for 13 years, and when I met her that April, I knew that we would be close even though she was a good bit older than I was, me working full-time and with a toddler and newborn, and we didn’t seem to have a lot in common on the surface. 

But I could feel her emotions and see her at soul level, almost like a past life connection sort of feeling. I spent a few hours with her here and there over the next couple of months and by mid-summer, we were best friends and I was soon spending my lunch hours at her kitchen table during my work week. Some might say we got too close emotionally way too fast, but it was a beautiful friendship for many years.

Another example: I met Leah at a used book sale to raise money for a library in another town. We chatted for 10 minutes over a cashbox and a bag of old books, and I knew we were going to be close friends. Knew it. All we needed to bond was closer proximity than where she lived then. Even though our surface-level conversation was quite casual, I could feel who she was and I was very open to a friendship. 

Several years passed without seeing her again, and then Leah showed up in my office, now living in my town and working for the same employer. To anyone else, it seemed that we were instantly friends, and I suppose we were. If we’d been in closer proximity those first couple of weeks after we met at the book sale, it would have seemed that I became too close emotionally before having time to know her.

Close friendships like these have been plentiful in my life. These were actually two that took longer than most to get very close. In cases where the geography is close, I’ve become quickly inseparable from a new friend. To others, it’s often interpreted as “too close emotionally” to someone I’ve only recently met. To me, it feels like, “Why waste time playing the game of limiting exposure over the course of months to get to know them…because I already know them through my empathy?”
The flip side is that I get turned off from a person almost instantly upon meeting them, and no one can make sense of why. But I can feel their emotions and if I’m repelled, I don’t waste my time. It’s a quick insight into their hearts and minds, and I feel I know them at a deeper level than non-empaths would know them so quickly. It’s not a matter of being too close emotionally but rather, an instant and permanent wall between us.

This instant closeness (or repelling) can be problematic in both friendships and romantic relationships, though. I’ve met some female friends who thought I came on too strong with some of the collaborations and social events I suggested within a few days of meeting. A few men have been very confused by my quick acceptance of them and understanding of who they are because they were used to getting to know romantic partners through a slower courtship that involved them viewing actions and interactions whereas I could tell how much I liked them very quickly through sensing their emotions and inner, hidden aspects of their personality. 
They, as non-empaths, could not understand how I could feel so close emotionally so soon–I seemed like a crazy, clingy female who expected too much of our fledgling relationship–and the safest answer was for me to do something that felt inauthentic: step back, keep my mouth shut about how much I liked them, and let their slower feelings catch up with what I already knew. 

These turned out to be just as deep as the ones where the potential romantic partner was empathic and also threw himself into the relationship sooner than “normal.” From their prospective, I needed to slow down. From mine, I needed to give them time to catch up with my empathic feelings.
Thank you very much again, dear friends, for visiting my blog. Please share your thoughts with us, if you will. Have a great day. 

ڰۣIn Loving Light from the Fairy Ladyڰۣ